Daytona Beach, 21st birthday, and Atlanta

Wow, it has been so long since I’ve been able to post. With being out of town and not having access to a computer, I have so much to update you guys on. Videos and pictures are coming, but I need some time to put them all together (which should be tomorrow).

I don’t even know where to begin. October 15, we went to Daytona Beach to help Living Stones Community Church with a big outreach weekend. The first night we got there we had some killer worship with Jason Lee Jones and the Richest of Fare. It was probably the most amazing worship I have had in quite some time. Very simple, just a few guys rocking out for Jesus. You should check them out if you’re interested. http://rofmin.sc101.info/joomla_1.0.15/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

The next day we did some serious canvassing! They were going to be having a big fall festival that upcoming Saturday and so we went to Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, and all the neighborhoods in the area and passed out as many flyers we could before getting kicked out by disgruntled security guards. I got to meet quite a few people and just talk with them. Some people are so receptive to strangers, while others are surprised that someone actually wants to talk to them.

That evening we went to Biketoberfest. For those of you who don’t know, it is a huge event where bikers from all over the US ride to Daytona Beach and then come live it up and show off their motorcycles in a parade of colorful lights, flashy paint jobs, shiny exhaust pipes, and scantily clad girls. CMC plus the crew at Living Stones (who, for the record, are the most passionate, free-spirited, inspiring people I’ve met in a long time) walked over the bridge to the beach and found a little alley to stand in and hang out with the bikers. There were thousands of people so we weren’t short on opportunities to start up a conversation. To be honest, I was uncomfortable with what we were doing. I mean, these are just some random bikers…coming out to have a good time…and I was supposed to go up and talk to them. But since when is it okay to shrink back just because you’re scared? So…a few kisses and drunken stumbles later, I had met a few people and learned a little about Biketoberfest in the process. I prayed for a few people and they seemed really grateful that we were out there shining a light in the darkness. Most other people were uninterested. They just wanted to have fun. We wished them well and they went on their way.

How many opportunities do we miss out on talking to someone or giving them some encouragement just because we’re uncomfortable? Have you ever seen someone when you’re out and about who looks really sad? Let’s say you were to talk to them, ask them what’s wrong…the worst that could happen is they don’t want to talk to you…the best, you make their day. What power we have. We have power to inspire life. Or we have power to enable death. If we are not inspiring life, then what are we doing? We are always contributing something, but it is up to us where that contribution will lead people.

The next day was the outreach! There was free food, drinks, sweet prizes, blowups, and games for the whole family. I was surprised how many people showed up. If you are in the Daytona Beach area and you are looking for a church, I highly recommend Living Stones Community Church. It is still small, and it is held in a little plaza, but it is thriving, passionate, and lively. The people are so welcoming, too.

The next day I went home for a couple days for my 21st birthday. I was slightly nervous, because going home is always weird. I’ve never actually lived at my parent’s house before…I’ve just visited for short periods of time. I didn’t do what I had hoped I would, which was really disappointing. It’s easy to say you’re going to do something, but that is not enough. Like they say…the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Maybe it’s not my road to hell…but it could be someone else’s road to hell because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.There were some successes from that trip, but they’re more personal. I’ve learned ultimately that forgiveness is a choice. Letting go of bitterness is a choice. We can’t say, okay, I don’t want to have bitterness anymore…and then let ourselves think mean thoughts about that person and talk negatively about them…you have to MAKE YOURSELF hope for the best for that person, you pray for them…and that’s when God steps in and does the rest. It doesn’t just magically happen one day “when you’re ready”. So if you’re waiting for that, you’ll be waiting your whole life.

I got back to Clearwater in the evening on Monday and the very next morning we left to go to Atlanta to work an Ace Hardware convention. We had a few…interesting experiences. Number 1, drunk dude who spoke spanglish and danced with one of our guys while begging for money. Number 2…Eloise…crazy lady who asked us for our chicken bones and then smelled poor Jeff, another one of our guys. It was really quite strange. I’m never sure how to respond to those kind of people. But just get a mental picture, we are in the heart of inner-city ATL…drug dealers, prostitutes, and the like. Never a dull moment, my friends. While at work, we set up, served and bussed a luncheon for 2000 people, which was fairly painless, and then made our way safely back to Clearwater by 1:30 am Friday morning.

This upcoming week is jam-packed with trips, services, and obligations, but I’m just trying to take it day by day. If anyone understands busy, I do. I used to let that be an excuse for me not doing all the things I want to do. I have come to learn, though, that it will never justify not embracing my free time. I’ve once heard it put this way: When you are at the end of your life, people aren’t gonna say, “man…i loved that porch you had on your house! It was definitely worth the extra few hours a week at work.” or “Your work attendance was exemplary!”…people are gonna say…”Hey, thanks for talking with me that one day when I was having a rough time…I knew you were busy but the fact that you set aside your time for me meant so much.” or “Thanks mom for spending time with me, for teaching me what it means to truly live for Christ.” or “You were the most loving, giving, faithful friend I’ve ever had.” You see, people don’t leave a legacy by just doing things. People leave a legacy by impacting people.

So I’m just about at the end of my 30 days. And can I say that I’ve embraced every moment for all it’s worth? That I did everything I wanted to do? That I changed the world by doing this blog? Well…no. I’m far from perfect. The reality is, while we are not guaranteed tomorrow…the likelihood is that I’ve still got a good long life ahead of me. I have a chance to make my life count. I have a chance to make my interactions with people count. What can you do today to make your life count?

Living life…

Back home! And leaving again…

Ugh! I am so sorry everyone! I just got back into town tonight, but I found out last minute that I’m going to Atlanta this week until Friday, so I won’t get to post about my awesome weekend until then! Man do I have some great stories to tell, though! We went to Biketoberfest…and boy…well, you will just have to wait and see! Can’t wait til friday.

Living life…busily I might add

Outreach and family time!

Hello to all you guys out there! I really hope you’re having a fantastic day and if you’re not, these are my suggestions:

1. Hang out with a good friend and do something nice for them, whether it’s telling them how much you appreciate their friendship, or treating them to coffee. I find it’s hard to focus on my problems when I’m focusing on other people instead.

2. Have a Pretzeldog

3. Blast some loud music

4. Find something rubbery to chew on…something about biting rubbery stuff really hard helps me relieve stress.

Anyways, this will be my last post for the next few days because I’m going out of town. Clearwater Master’s Commission and the ONElife Campaign…aka me…are going to Daytona Beach to do an outreach. I’m not entirely sure what we’re going to be doing, but you can bet there will be pictures, videos, and stories for you guys! After that I am going to take a visit home to see my family. I will be back on Tuesday, so you can be expecting a new post!

I want to leave you with this quote:
I don’t want to come to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. -Diane Ackerman

Living life…wide!

“Kill me now.”

“Interesting” day. Emotional day. “One of those kind of days.” All words to describe this day. Maybe I could go as far as saying I didn’t like today too much. Went to the library and man, they don’t make librarians how they used to! What happened to horn-rimmed glasses, turtle necks, snoopy vests, and a warm smile? Sorry to all you librarians out there Anyways, I tried to get a library card, but apparently I’m one of those “complicated situations” that are what heartburn, anxiety attacks, and frustrating venting to a friend or spouse after work are all about. The situation itself really wasn’t that complicated. I, an out of county resident, needed a card. Add a line full of people trying to check out books, 3 people with questions, 1 woman who needed 5 sheets of plain paper, and only a few librarians to take care of all of that…I guess I could see the stressful nature of the situation. As I was being assisted in getting a library card, I was abandoned at least 5 times for more urgent matters. But i sat there patiently. Helped a brother out in the mean time. You would’ve thought I gave him a million dollars, but it was just $1 to replace his library card, but he was still so excited! He was surprised there were still “nice people in the world.” I think the librarian thought I was just trying to do a good deed to show her that I deserved a library card despite my status as a foreigner. Anyways, finally mrs. librarian comes back and is trying to figure out my situation and just says, “Kill me now.” How shattering to me, young naive former librarian lover, who thought all librarians were made of sugar and spice and everything nice. No, I kid, I kid. But just a little story for you guys.

So I had a moment of fear and realization today. I was talking to my dad on skype and he was going on and on about cold water, rivers, and the Pacific Ocean and jokingly I said to him, “Dad! You’re torturing me. Just stop talking…” Completely in a joking matter, still not the best thing to say. All of a sudden, his face freezes and the call drops. My internet was gone and I didn’t really think too much of it. I was talking to another friend at the time and I told her what I said and I was kind of laughing about it. Her reaction surprised me when she said that she would never say that to her father, even if it was a joke. She said you never know what your last words are going to be. And I stopped for a minute. In my head I imagined that if my dad had just died at that moment, how long would I regret my last words to him? You’re torturing me! Don’t talk anymore! How long would those words echo in my heart and my mind…how long would they haunt me? How many things did I want to tell him, but never got to? Guilt washed over me at that moment and I called him just to hear his voice and make sure he was still alive. Silly, I know, but still a very real moment of panic. Very few moments have I grasped how precious my family is to me as that.

I’ve been thinking about family so much lately. It has been the one thing that is most important to me in really embracing this 30 day challenge, and yet I have neglected it the most out of everything. What is it that is so hard about telling your family how you really feel about them? Showing them how much they mean to you, exchanging bitterness for forgiveness and busyness for hugs and words of love. I called my brother today. I had made a personal vow that I would never speak to him again unless he contacted me, but I have started feeling this week that my decision may not be the best one. I called him today, figuring he wouldn’t answer…and he didn’t. But I left him a voicemail. I don’t know what will happen, but I do know that if I never see him or his family again it will not be because I didn’t try. If he forever hates me it will not be because I didn’t try to make peace. If I find it in my heart to love and forgive him it will not be because he came to me and did it first.

I hope that you will see my heart behind this all. I don’t want you to think it’s okay to wait. It is not okay to wait! You are not guaranteed tomorrow. If you were to die tonight, can you rest assured that you have taken care of all the loose strings…dotted your i’s, crossed your t’s? Who have you neglected to tell you love? Who has been denied the privilege of accepting your apology? Please be careful with how you talk to the ones you love. And everyone for that matter. You will regret it one day.

Living life…

Day 13…enjoying the beauty of this world.

Starbucks in one hand, a new friend by my side, and this view right in front of us.

Yesterday was such a wonderful day! It started off bad. I felt sick and I just wanted to be alone…you ever have those kind of days? I couldn’t just walk away from life that morning, though…I knew I would regret it. I decided to let the bad day pass and move forward, so I went through the rest of my schedule with a positive attitude. I’ve been a little ungrateful lately about all the miracles that have happened in my life. A few years ago, I was going nowhere fast. I didn’t know who God was, and I was going in the opposite direction of where I should’ve been. These past 2 1/2 years I have gotten the pleasure to be a part of a group of people who have taught me how to love people, love God, and love myself…I have gotten to travel the country, the WORLD! I have been to Hungary, Croatia, Guatemala, and El Salvador all in 2 years of life. I have been to public schools all up and down the east coast, delivering the message that their life counts! Everything they do matters. And now I am here at this crossroads in life.

I know that my life has been blessed and it has been purposeful. Now as I journey through my last year in this program, and soon onto whatever awaits me after, I want to begin blessing the lives of others. Do you ever feel like all you ever do is take, take, take? I am tired of taking! I want to give. I want to give my time, my energy, my resources…I don’t want it to be said of me that…”I helped Ashton eat that day when she had no food”…”I helped Ashton go to college”…”I helped Ashton when she felt like she had nowhere to go”…and then they all say, “But she never really did anything for me.” Oh gosh, I would be heartbroken!

Ending that little thought, after all the grunt work of the day, our students went to the beach for a little game of beach volleyball! It gets a little scary sometimes because most of us are pretty competitive…but it’s all in good fun! So as I am standing there, the ball is served and then all of a sudden…

I scream, “MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!” I was just standing there and then I saw this money blow right towards me and so I ran and grabbed it, thinking it would be just a buck or so, but it was $20! You may be thinking, wow, big deal, but you have to understand something…I really needed that $20 and for it just to appear was incredible! Like manna from heaven.

If you haven’t learned anything by this point, though, when randomly gifted with something wonderful like $20, you can’t just use it all on yourself. You gotta pay it forward. There is definitely more joy in giving than receiving.

Finally, my day ended with the picture you saw at the top…a beautiful sunset. I got to know a new friend over some yummy Starbucks! I forgot how fun it can be getting to know new people. The more I go through this little “experiment” of one month to live, the more I realize how many opportunities there are out there to embrace life. There are so many moments, so many people, so many places just waiting for you!

Living life…

Day 12…Compassion in Action

(by the way…not my first choice for a song! haha…but it ended up fitting pretty well. gotta love some Bon Jovi)

Today was a great day. Started off bright and early at 5:50 am. I am in a program lifestyle (??) called Clearwater Master’s Commission. Today we had the privelege of volunteering with an outreach program in Pinellas Park, Florida, Taking it to the Streets. They have a big focus on serving homeless and addicted people, but they’re welcoming to everyone. They are the kindest, liveliest…loudest people around and they have a heart for helping people in need. They have recently partnered with Metropolitan Ministries in Tampa and they have named this new endeavor Compassion in Action. Metropolitan Ministries hands out food, money, and Christmas presents to over 2,000 families in the weeks leading up to Christmas. This is the vision for Compassion in Action. They are going to be reaching out to the city for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What will it take? A HUGE tent, 180 volunteers per DAY, and a love for helping and serving this community.

Today was a launch…a trial run, if you will. Compassion in Action fed 200 people today, but their goal is to feed three counties worth of people this holiday season. If that is not living life like it means something, then I don’t know what is.

I couldn’t leave this adventure without asking at least a few people TIQ (for those of you who are new, TIQ stands for the infamous question, “What would you do if you had one month to live?”) So I asked Judy. Judy just got back from Trinidad 5 months ago where she served the needs of her community for 12 years. She said she would just want to spend as much time getting to know God as possible…”When I die I’m gonna have to meet him…so I better know who he is!” Then I asked the President and founder of Metropolitan Ministries, Morris. He said he would give everyone hugs. Then he hugged me…haha. Nothing like a nice sweaty Florida humidity hug from a stranger. I tried to ask the Mayor who brought his little press crew, but he disappeared before I got a chance. Met some great people who were so thankful that there is a place where they can come to get the things they need. Being a part of something like this is enough to change your perspective on life. Why spend your time wishing you had more? More money, more this, more that…there are people who have nothing and they can still find it in them to smile, to live life, and to be thankful for what they do have. Let this push you forward. As Bon Jovi says, “It’s my life and it’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever.” The words of a wiseman.

Living life…

Reflection

You can find this book at any major bookstore. I really do recommend it. This is the inspiration behind what I’m doing. If you’re in the Clearwater, Florida area and you want to check out what is happening with this book, visit www.clearwaterag.org . Lives truly are being transformed and you can be a part of it.

On a bicycle built for…well, just one technically.

After the ride...ready for a nap.

Day 10: 14 miles to the beach and back…talk about a fun little adventure! What is better than spending time with one of your best friends, doing something outdoorsy, and then throwing the beach into the mix? A couple weeks ago I probably would’ve said, “Oh! I want to do that. Ride my bike to the beach,” but it would be one of those things where I don’t actually make the time for it. I even almost didn’t do it. I woke up and I didn’t feel great, so I considered skipping the bike ride, but how lame would that be? We saddled up our horsies and made it up the steep incline of the bridge to the beach…that was a doozie. Something about knowing that you have arrived at a destination by the work of your own body is very rewarding. I’m sure I’ll feel it in a couple days, too! The weather was nice, the sun hiding behind the clouds and a little bit of a breeze. Going 30 mph downhill makes a nice little breeze too…makes you think about wearing a helmet (disclaimer: I do not endorse the use of a bicycle without a helmet in dangerous situations, such as heavy traffic and really big hills with sand and rocks). So I had a little mini-experiment planned for this bike ride, but as my funds are extremely low at this moment, I couldn’t do it. I’m not giving up, though…so I won’t spoil the surprise just yet.

On another note, I’ve been doing some thinking. Sometimes I wonder, is what I’m doing in life really counting for something? Is it really making an impact? Some days I feel like I haven’t achieved very much and other days I feel like I’ve done something good. Is my impact a compilation of  just the good days when I’m at my best? No. My impact is a compilation of both the good days and the not so good days. I’ve made positive impact on this world, but in not engaging every day and every opportunity, I have made negative impact, too. Darnit!!

So I’m curious, if anyone is out there, what would you do if you had unlimited funds and 30 days left to live? I would go skydiving and traveling all over the world…and I would need unlimited funds because there’s no way I’d do that without my friends and family. Again, it’s not where you’re going, but who you’re going there with.

Trying to think of more stuff to do…and Living life…

Woah…totally disppeared there for a few days.

Free sample?

The past couple days have been insane beyond belief. I don’t know which way is up right now, so I don’t know how to recall all the happenings, so we will begin at today!

Day 9: Doing some serious research for my special Food Challenge day of the ONElife Campaign. I’ve always wanted to participate in one of those food eating challenges where if you eat an insane amount of food in an hour, you get the meal for free and you get your face on the Wall of Fame…hey, I gotta leave a legacy after I die! So there will be more to come on that later. But I went to the mall today with my friend Katy (yeah dude!) and we shared a Pretzeldog. I’m telling you, pretzeldogs make for great bonding moments. We then decided to maneuver over to the food court to get free chicken samples. I always feel bad…obligated when I take the chicken sample…like, I at least need to stand there for a second and “consider” buying meat, rice, and one side for $4.79, deciding at the last minute that I am gonna walk around a little more and then “maybe come back”. I know those people see me walking to the next chicken sample person, but by that point it doesn’t matter anymore, because another person just like me has walked up and distracted them, only to do the same exact thing. So I decided today to alter my escape method. After I sampled the chicken, nodded in satisfaction and gave the look of contemplation, I asked the TIQ. Most of them said they would spend time with family and friends. (Bunny trail…Brenda from Michael’s would go on a Disney Cruise with her family). Once you engage them in conversation and tell them to have a nice day, they’ve forgotten that the only reason you came there in the first place was to score a free sample of chicken. I got to the last sampler and she spoke no English so I made an embarrassing attempt to ask her in Spanish. It sounded something like, “Tengo un pregunta para tu…que hace…hace?…que hace…if you…un mez para vivir? Would you…uhhh…tu…familia, amigos??? Oh…you would quit your job? No trabajo? Gracias!” We were both thoroughly confused, but I decided to look like a fool…it was fun! And who knows, maybe she’s thinking about it now? Maybe she’ll tell her husband when she goes home about the crazy Gringa who came up to her at work today and asked her some silly question. Then maybe it will spread like wildfire?

After that Katy and I got some hemp and beads and took my guitar down to the bluffs to make some anklets. They turned out pretty sweet so then we were just jammin’ as the sun went down. It was great. Tomorrow is the big day, though. Mondays are my off day and so I have the greatest amount of time to do something spectacular. I’m going on a 14 mile bike ride…with a twist. There will be pictures and hopefully videos so I will be back on here tomorrow. Oh yeah, I’ve yet to mention I’m learning the bass…I’ve always wanted to be able to play a little bit of every instrument…so I’m working on it. What is that thing that you’ve ALWAYS wanted to do…but have never found time for? Well, why haven’t you done it yet? Go…now.

Living life…

Day 6

Life is as delicate as a single heartbeat.

Today couldn’t have been more appropriate for my little experiment! My good friend went to the emergency room the other night because she was having bad chest pains. This isn’t too out of the ordinary for her, considering she has a heart condition. Even a few days after she was released from the hospital she was still in a lot of pain and so we went to the heart doctor together. They were running a few different tests and I got the privilege of going in to the place where they take ultrasounds of your heart. It was such an incredible thing, to be able to see the very organ that is responsible for keeping you alive. The very thing that seems to leap whenever you’re really excited about something…the very thing that hurts when you lose something dear to you. The heart is the wellspring of life, something to be guarded. And I got to see it. See it beating right in front of me. Hear the sounds of blood flowing in and out. See the amazing…complex and delicate workings of a muscle that is in perfect harmony with all its parts.

Life is so precious and so fragile. It’s so easy to let it pass you by. We get so focused on routines, habits, the busyness of every day life, that we don’t make the time to do the things we truly want. I have been guilty of that the past two days (and too many times to count before I started this experiment). I am so busy with school and responsibilities that by the end of the day, I’m tired, and I have run out of time to really pursue the passion of my heart. I think the best solution for this is time management. If we want to live our lives to the fullest then we need to work it into our schedule. It needs to become higher on our priority list.

What is on my priority list today? Bless somebody’s life. Even if it is something small. I have been so blessed today and I really want to pay it forward. I don’t deserve to have such amazing people in my life, but I am so thankful that I do.

Living life…